Language and Literacy Narrative

“Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up”- Pablo Picasso. In our own individual ways, we are gifted, but how we keep that gift may be the struggle that we often face. For me writing is something that I thought was a gift to people. I grew up thinking not everyone was meant to be a writer, but now I believe one who practices writing is a soon to be great writer. Writing is something that I shied away from for so long because I didn’t want to make the mistake of possibly using the wrong word. I became afraid of typing there when I really meant their. I know if people judge my writing, of course they’ll judge the way I walk and talk. I didn’t want others to think because I wasn’t good at writing that meant I wasn’t great at speaking. I had this idea that because I could never get the right answer for multiple choice that I sucked at reading. Then, I started to think I can’t even express why I chose that answer because my confidence level was already so low. It was extremely hard to be outspoken in the real world, then an introvert in the classroom. One thing I was thankful for was the relationships I had with my teachers, which made it less embarrassing to receiving feedback. When my teachers where giving me input I was more receptive and didn’t feel looked down upon because I knew they were all coming from a good place. Creating an atmosphere where I was able to be transparent with my teachers and have a relationship beyond the classroom was very imperative for my learning experience. It meant something knowing someone understood why I hated reading or didn’t want to write.

In high school that all changed for me my senior year. I went years in school saying I hate writing. Every time a teacher said we are writing a paper I was often first to put my head down because writing wasn’t my gift. My gift was on the basketball court and I had accepted that. I was okay with being someone who got B’s because she just wanted to play sports. Playing basketball was the one thing that made me focus in the classroom because it gave me something to look forward to after school, such as practice. In class I made sure I wrote all the required papers anyway because it was expected of me. Second to that I always had to have someone I was comfortable with look it over. Writing how I speak has been a big struggle especially because I talk fast, so my grammar is sometimes horrible. I remember in my senior year having to write a personal statement for the majority of colleges I was applying for. When I found out this, I went nuts because I wasn’t sure what to write about or where to even start. My counselors would get so uptight every time they mentioned personal statement essays. I would say to them, I already don’t like writing and now you mean to tell me I must write a personalized essay about myself that must be 650 words long. I kept asking myself why my counselors were emphasizing this part of my college application so much. I would lay across my bed upside down with my head hanging off the bed edge thinking for hours what I am going to write about. Should I tell a story about how when people say my name, they always think of buzz lightyear and say, to infinity and beyond.

Time was ticking and the second week of September had come, and I still hadn’t come up with something to write. I was in my dorm listening to Script- Hall of fame then a bell just went off. I replayed the song over and over to analyze the lyrics and there was my topic to write about. The song talked about being resilient and fighting through everything you’ve ever encountered in life so you can be in the hall of fame. I ran to my room desk and started jotting down in my journal all the different emotions I felt when listening to the song. I remember holding my breath because I felt like I had gone through so much and wanted to freeze time up for a little. Holding my breath was a moment of me feeling as if life slowed down. This song reminded me to keep fighting because storms don’t last forever, but strong people do. I was led to write my essay about how my unchosen hardships individually shaped me, but in some strange way all the experience was connected as a map. I pulled out my computer and started typing away and I came up with a consistent theme in my writing, which was One gasp, two gasps, four. Every second reassuring that I will never lose air anymore. After explaining every obstacle I used this theme to express how I wouldn’t feel weak because I knew there was a purpose behind those obstacles. For once in my life I felt so confident about my writing. I felt as if there was nothing anyone could tell me about my writing because I wrote and wrote and wrote until I couldn’t write any more. Writing all my feelings on paper, going back to take out words so I would meet the 650-word limit, and using figurative language was the moment that changed the way I felt about literacy. I wrote so much and edited that essay for months and I almost felt on top of the world because every time I reread the essay it was more advanced and better than the last time. The essay read fluently and most importantly I got to tell my story with no other restriction then a word limit. I went from being a person who hated writing and reading to writing about my own personal experience learning I may be able to be a good writer if I write. As I said in the beginning one who practices writing is a soon to be great writer.

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